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Assessing the value of enterprise risk management deloitte do my contoh internet of things adalah sql server reporting services azure I would love to get married and have children someday I was married so I not sure if I would get married again I think we do have to redefine what marriage really is and what it means let me teach you how to be single I don't even want a boyfriend I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time and thinks I'm the best person in the world and wants to have sex with only me for the first time in our country's history unmarried women outnumber those of us who are married the things that we romanticize the things that we get nostalgic about whether it's the 1950s which was this blip of a certain kind of nuclear family also represents some of the most unequal power dynamics that we have New York magazine editor Rebecca tracer interviewed nearly 100 unmarried women for her new book all the single ladies it's not so much a question anymore of married or not married it used to be this binary set of existences that one model that was the model for how American women were supposed to live their adulthoods has been lifted and what's exposed is this variety of paths what's driving these women to choose not to be married the story of women marrying later and less frequently is not a story of women rejecting marriage for any politicized or feminist reasons a lot of it is that women aren't marrying in the same numbers that they used to because they don't have to anymore just be yourself just I mean like don't like man spread but otherwise like do it every off rather than talk about unmarried women we wanted to talk with them so we sat down with friends of friends all living and working in New York to get their take on dating marriage and everything in between so statistically in 2016 it is as normal for a young woman to be unmarried as it is for her to be married for you as unmarried women doesn't actually feel that way in the real world I think because we live in New York I don't I don't feel that way giselle Juber yeah I totally agree I think the basis of being in New York is opportunity for men and women and we come here for career I got moved for my job not necessarily for love they think the culture of New York is very much a culture of ambition a culture of pursuing your career and so it's just it's more normal to be single so for me as a 33 year old single woman I feel comfortable I don't feel like I'm missing something whereas when I visiting my family in Utah it's sort of like what's wrong with you like clearly like you don't have your act together basically I remember before my husband and I got married I would dread the moment at weddings where people would do the bouquet toss because I felt like what they wanted was to see us like desperately want to get them okay and scramble and I just rejected it like I refused to do it because I felt it was humiliating and I didn't even have that much pressure I mean I wonder for you do you feel that there's pressure from your friends from your family to get married no not at all I don't feel any pressure whatsoever you're never really alone and you always have friends and things to do in activities to go to so yeah you may be single in the sense that you don't have a partner but you have so many other things that you don't feel alone or lonely I disagree someone that there's no pressure in New York or that you feel no pressure once you start living with someone everyone asks you when you guys getting engaged like that was a question I was constantly fielding I think right around 26 to 28 that was what all my friends were doing um and not to say I got married because that reason by any means but I definitely did feel pressure to UM take the relationship to the next step after you know being in being together for a certain amount of time and then once you're on that train it kind of just continues um without end this is a highly sought after group I just want everyone to know there are people in this group have been proposed to multiple times I did not realize was the thing why did you ladies turn down those proposals or those almost engagements I was in a comfort zone with my relationship but when I started growing as a person and I started realizing Who I am and what I wanted to do realized that he didn't fit that mold of a good partner um for the long term and I decided to exit that relationship and that's happened twice I think sometimes like you do for a second buy into what society's selling of like the sexiness of having a plan for your life and having um kind of things worked out and knowing where you're gonna spend your years who you're gonna spend it with but I think you know for me it was about am i buying into someone else's dreams like is this actually something that I deeply care about when we broke up I asked myself the question of what are you grieving the most and what I grieved the most was that I didn't have a plan do you feel like you have unlimited options that's the words honestly that is the problem when you're okay on your own you don't really need someone to depend on necessarily and so it makes you so much more discerning about who you spend your time with and I know all of us for all of us our time is our resource I understand I created that I think having just moved here a year and a half ago and restarting kind of my whole identity my career now who I was I feel like I'm dating employers going freelance then at on top of that all of these beautiful men sometimes not all beautiful but all right but there's like four different dating apps there's so many options that is just where I'm spending my time and with who effects all of that so my experience of being unmarried is that it really did give me flexibility to pursue every option that came my way I mean I definitely had the experience at some point my boyfriend I had been living together in Washington DC I got a job in New York he got a job Miami and it was kind of a no-brainer for us where it's like I'm gonna go to New York and you're gonna go to Miami and if this relationship is supposed to work then we'll make it work that would've been much harder to do for us as a married couple I think there would have been there was already so much judgment and there would have been so much more judgment if we were a married couple that was living in two different places do any of you have a different experience with what I do in the makeup industry and with production sets I'm constantly traveling and I love to travel but that also presents challenging when date and challenges with dating I particularly would want buddy who is open to saying hey if you have to go week away for a week this month that's cool like you know let's do this like it's fine to be separated for a little bit the last thing I want to talk about is kids anyone who would think about having kids unmarried I think that for me marriage now would be about kids I mean other than that I don't see why I would necessarily need to get married again the exciting part of having children to me is like the pregnant part like I think it's so interesting that our bodies can do that if I could just get pregnant in like grow and like see how my body can create another human be like how powerful and empowering that experience would be is something that I cannot even imagine but then the thought of then raising that child and like terrified like oh my god like gonna take it to baseball games write for me capstone mining group Sarah Lawrence College, Yonkers.